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Cartagia's Bum- by ruuger

Amusing, Shiny Things That Make Me Happy

Am home sick today, but am comforted and overjoyed by the brilliance of my friends list.

Those of you on kakodaimon's friends list should mosey on over to her most recent entry, in which she drew squishable fan art just for me, and oh, I am grateful, yea verily, for it features Lennier and Vir in an amusement park and the most perfectly in-character Very Secret Diary entries ever.

Additionally, janewt, inspired by the underwear discussion below, is currently writing Centauri panty raid fic at my request. Dance, my puppets! Dance! *eg*


I'm about 1/3 of the way there on, um, Panty Raid 2.

Fic 2 (might need to be in two posts)

"Oh, it was epic, worthy of men who will rule the Republic some day. An adventure in honor of...in honor of, ahh...pass that bottle, will you?"

"It's empty."

"Yes, well? What about that one?"

"You're closer. And my head hurts." A sigh and a grunt as young Londo Mollari half-rose and reached for the bottle nestled in the grass, then sprawled again at his friend's side.

"Don't look so serious. It was worth it, yes?"

"Easy for you to say, Londo. Your father won't have you beaten. Or disown you. Or cut off your allowance for the rest of the year."

"Only because it's already been spent....But think, Urza, now you know just what to give your blushing bride when the day comes. Something pink, with a bit of lace here, and a ribbon there? Or what about that green silk thing, the one with the fur in the back? Pretty, yes?"

"She'll kill me before we're ever married. Pass that bottle?"

"...It's empty."


The day before, Nesso Jaddo had officially registered the betrothal of his son Urza to Irio Del's daughter Marilia, and went home to announce the fact to his family. Unofficially, of course, the match had been agreed on while the two were still infants, and the dowry contract sketched out long ago. The families' businesses had been connected for generations.

"Besides," Urza told his friend that evening, "Our grandfathers fought together in the war and we're...oh, cousins of some kind. You met her once at my uncle's house, when we were all children. She's a nice enough girl, from what I remember."


"I suppose. Short, but not ugly. Here--I have a portrait on me somewhere." Upon examination, Londo considered that she looked like one of the girls that served drinks at the Nila Bridge Inn. Urza disagreed; was almost inclined to be offended at the comparison; said she was more like the dancer at Miarva. Soon the Nila Bridge waitress was perched on Urza's lap while Londo made a great show of comparing her with the portrait. Some time after that the Miarva dancer was giggling a goodbye to Urza, while Londo picked up another bottle or two for the trip home.

In the vicinity of the Filan Gardens Urza discovered that he had mislaid his fiancée's portrait. "Then we shall get you another one," said Londo, and a few minutes' walk found them by the gates of the Del family's city home. The next little while was rather hazy in later memory: the family being absent, the gates were locked--a wall was climbed--Urza rather thought that Marilia's room was on the second story overlooking the courtyard--he had been there once when they were very little--more walls were climbed--no portraits found--a note left--items collected. The general impression was of an infinity of vine-covered stone wall and a sense of accomplishment.


The young men reached the gate of the Jaddo estate and found it locked. Urza fumbled for his keycard; Londo was sick in the bushes. They didn't try to navigate the steps. As they sprawled on the lawn, Londo examined the evening's gains in the growing light. "Ha, look at this. Green silk. And is that real marzin fur?"

"...She'll kill me..."


Marilia didn't kill him, of course. Four days later, after Urza had been sent to the countryside for the good of his soul and his family's peace of mind, he received a message from her.

I kept the note you left, as it was rather sweet, but would you kindly return my mother's property? And in the future, try the front door or else the middle window on the east side of the house. We've made some renovations.

Your devoted betrothed,
Marilia Del.

Re: Fic 2 (might need to be in two posts)

*ded infinity*

Oh, this is a gorgeously funny and worthy tribute to this friendship. You should post both panty raid stories in a more visible place. Seriously. They are certainly going up on my site once it's been overhauled. ;)

Re: Fic 2 (might need to be in two posts)


Thank you--and thank you for the suggestion. Apparently my muse is Regency Underwear....I don't really have anywhere to put them, but I'd be flattered if you had them on your site.
You are too kind, and I am ever at your service.