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naughty

Apparently, when I'm waiting for Godot, I write pr0n. Virsturbation, to be exact.

Is everyone happy now? *g*

Not that I could ever hope to match andrastewhite's skill. But this is the porniest thing I've ever written. Ever. And it's certainly the first time I've ever contemplated using the phrase "Vir came" in a story. I think I'm going to crawl into my little hidey-hole now.

Strong R, yo, for, uh, sexual situations. With tentacles. Only 400 words, give or take. Hey, I'm the baby of the fandom. I need to edge into these things gradually. *g*



While Bathing
By Hobsonphile

When Lord Donato at last collapsed in a drunken heap, Ilia had touched him. Maybe, with the chaos of the celebration, he had simply imagined it- or maybe it was completely by accident. But after he had struggled, red-faced, to heave his snoring superior onto an over-stuffed couch, as he anxiously arranged Donato’s rumpled clothing into some approximation of respectability, he had felt the flutter of something at his waist. It was a teasing play at a very sensitive spot and it had left him momentarily speechless.

Vir was dreaming of Ilia almost nightly now since the Celebration of Life, and during the day, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. It made everything all the more awkward.

Sighing, Vir sank slowly into his bath and breathed in the warm smell of soap and linfra oil. Ilia smelled of linfra earlier that day when she leaned over his shoulder to snatch a berry from his dish. As she reached, her sheer modesty piece fell away, revealing the curve of one breast. It was difficult to find his place in his reading after that. Even now, thinking about it, he was finding it difficult to simply breathe.

Something twitched beneath the water, and Vir reached a shaking hand under the bubbles and stroked the end of one brachiarte until his chest was hitching with pleasure. His eyes fluttering closed, he began to rub the one beside it with his other hand, imagining that Ilia was bathing with him, her breasts glistening with oil, her painted lips stained with purple juice.

Then, slowly, gradually, he extended both brachiarte. The slickness of the soap and oil caused his grasp to slip slightly, but still, he held on, guiding both to his mouth and tentatively licking the rough surface of one with his tongue. For a moment, he shuddered at the bitter taste of the linfra, but a moment later, he decided the sensation felt too good to stop. Alternatively, he sucked and played his fingers across his brachiarte, enjoying the inexorably building pressure until, at last, it became too much and Vir came, grunting deeply, his fingertips tingling, bath water sloshing over the edge of the tub and onto the tile floor as he arched his back.

A minute later, Vir scrambled from the bath and hastily threw on his robe, trembling, gasping for air, his face a brilliant shade of crimson.

The End

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Comments

Yippee!

Good for you! There's nothing like some good, wholesome, centauritentaclepr0n-y fun.

Re: Yippee!

Only Vir could make tentacle pr0n "wholesome." *g*

Re: Yippee!

Well...*mentally runs through tentacle-pr0n-type situations*

Yeah. Pretty much. :)

Gotta get him a girl, so he doesn't have to resort to...memes.

I needed this...

I've been worried as anything this evening due to events in the Ukraine, and this was such a lovely thing to take my mind off it all! So sweet, so Vir! Thank you, honey, it was just what I needed.

Re: I needed this...

I'm glad I could brighten your day- and I hope your friend comes through the unrest in the Ukraine okay.
Yes. Very happy. *g* I love it! Yay! for tentacle pr0n!

*hugs Vir* Vir is absolutely adorable.
It's so weird. So far, everyone has called this ficlet "wholesome," "sweet" and "adorable." As I said to Jane, only Vir could do that for pr0n. *g*

Crais, on the other hand, makes pr0n hot and angsty, I'm sure. ;)

from Vladimir to Estragon:

Trust you to write tentacle porn which is cute. Like Vir.*g*

Re: from Vladimir to Estragon:

I see Godot has arrived, dear Vladimir! Hooray! *g*

Regarding Vir and cute!pr0n: I think I'm going to call this the Vir Effect from now on. There's a scientific paper in this, I think. *g*
I arrive late, and am thus forced to repeat what everyone else has said: only Vir could make tentacle pr0n quite this ... adorable and, yes, wholesome is an oddly apt word. It really is a cute story *g*.

(Oh, and thank you for the compliment *g*. When I started writing smut, every word had to be dragged out painfully. Luckily it gets easier as you go along.)

I am glad Londo is not getting all the tentacle action, even though there's a distinct lack of characters for Vir to engage in tentacle action with.
It really is a cute story *g*.

Thanks. "Cute." "Sweet." "Wholesome." "Adorable." Such an odd little list of compliments for Virsturbation. *g*

I am glad Londo is not getting all the tentacle action, even though there's a distinct lack of characters for Vir to engage in tentacle action with.

I suppose I could write smut involving Emperor Cotto and his wives. *g* But as I said to soulonds9 last night, even if I tried writing animalistic lust, it would probably still end up being cute. It is an amazing superpower. *g*
Thanks. "Cute." "Sweet." "Wholesome." "Adorable." Such an odd little list of compliments for Virsturbation. *g*

But it's all true! And Virsturbation deserves to join brachiarte in the tentacle pr0n dictionary.

... I can't believe we need a tentacle pr0n dictionary.

I suppose I could write smut involving Emperor Cotto and his wives. *g* But as I said to [info]soulonds9 last night, even if I tried writing animalistic lust, it would probably still end up being cute. It is an amazing superpower. *g*

Plus, just about anything Vir does is cute.

Someone really should write about the two Mrs. Cottos one of these days. I wonder, did he get married during those fifteen years the Drahk were on Centauri Prime, or wait until afterwards? Do the books shed any light on that?
That is cute. And Virsturbation! *giggles* I think Vir's probably one of the most-stressed people on B5, but his salary sucketh, so really - there's probably more of that free stress relief going on behind his door than we think... >;)
Hee. God forbid Londo should ever walk in... *g*
WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT...